1/2 marathon training

So I got this crazy idea to sign up for a half marathon.  I have been training for the last 3 weeks, and because the knee issue it has been all mostly walking with some biking, yoga, and zumba to help cross train.  I have found myself liking yoga more and more each time I go.  Today was my 7 mile walk.  So far everything seems to be ok, my legs started to tighten up on the last few miles but a middle of walk stretch helped that. The 1/2 is Sept. 7th and its a Freedom Run for 9/11, and the first responders.  So I will be up against people who have to run for a living, I am not expecting to beat anyone except myself. I am doing it to prove to myself that I can, and will do it.  I don't care if I am the last one who crosses that finish line as long as I cross it.

blahhh

What was supposed to be my last day of PT was supposed to have been Monday.  Well the PT released me, but the Doc on Tuesday did not.  I was all good, went to Zumba Monday night, went walking that night as well.  Tuesday, was getting ready to leave doctor's officer and he said hop on table, lay down and put pressure on my knee and yep...it hurt.  SO NOT RELEASED FOR RUNNING.  The doc seems to think that in 7 weeks, I can be ready for the 1/2 marathon.  Ok, when most training programs are at least 16 weeks, so this is high hopes on the doctor.  He banned me from running for another two weeks, PT 2 times a week for three weeks, and back on naproxen type meds for another 6 weeks.  I am probably not going to keep going to PT, as it seems like it is a waste of my time as it is exercises I can do on my own and not charge insurance.

I can't help but to feel like a failure because I keep thinking my goals of competing next year keeps going out the door.  Like 2 steps forward and 10 back.  Like I feel so disappointed in myself for letting me get injured at my last race.  I let the injury go for months, and this is what happened when I didn't listen to my body.  The knee has been bothering me for months.  I have started yoga classes to help with stretching as the doctor and PT seems to think this will help a lot. I have started back Zumba classes just not as hard core as I normally am, careful about no jumping and squatting.  I have also started walking more, down to a 9 min. mile walking.  I got released to walk, and bike, just nothing high impact.  Like hearing those words in the doctors office, 2 more weeks sucked so bad.  I have not ran in a month.  I gained 10 lbs in the time off, and it grosses me out.

Yesterday, was a day of self-doubt because I feel like I am behind on training and such.  I told my best friend who didn't help the situation by saying I had lots of fat to lose, which I understand but I only need to lose 50 lbs and I have 10 months to do it in.  I just felt it was wrong for them to say that cause it just didn't motivate me at all, in fact the opposite happened.  Hearing those words come out of their mouth just made me feel like a failure, I mean if my best friend can't support me, it just shows me I am on my own in this journey.

one more week

One more week of PT after later today.  I have gained like 10 freaking lbs, this not being able to workout sucks.   I haven't updated cause there isn't really much to say because I haven't been able to workout as I like, just light walking and PT.  I am working on eating healthier and have been scoring at farmer's stands and markets.  I did start 1/2 marathon training yesterday.  First 1/2 marathon is Sept. 7th.  I can't run the training right now so have been walking it.  So far so good, now to get the eating back controlled.