big scare

So I wasn't going to tell anyone, but I might as well... I went for a girly exam and the doc told me to make an appt with a dermatologist.  I did and got in right away, especially with my family history of skin cancers.  Well that day, they did find some cancer looking spots-looked a lot like my grandpa's and removed them.  I had 3 spots so far, my leg which had black and brown and was odd shaped, my stomach which literally looked like someone took a fine sharpie and made a poke mark, very little and black, and in my armpit which they weren't sure about.  The doctor even had a student check out the mark on my leg, took measurements made sure it was notated and circled, and said that I should hear back in a week from the lab.  They even took pictures so I have a feeling this is not going to turn out good.  If it is, I lose my pilot's license for awhile-could be years depending if it's basal, squamous, or melonoma.. Melonoma is a no go for a pilot's license.

Armpit, stomach and leg pics of where possible cancer may have been removed


This week is hell.  All I want to do is splurge on what I eat and not care but I have been good and have stuck to my diet and kept working out.  The hole in my armpit hurts the worse as it was literally in my armpit so anytime I raise my arm, put my arm down, or my clothes rub on it, it hurts.

So here it is a nutshell.  If I do have skin cancer, the doc thinks it was all removed when she cut into me.  2. I have many strikes against me so the odds of me getting it was pretty sure: genetics, not a user of sunblock, tanning beds, living in Hawaii. So it is what it is.  I have to thank my best friend in a weird sort of sappy way which I am not a sappy person usually.  Had he not talked me into doing fitness and pushed me into it, I wouldn't have been checking my body out in the mirrors and such, therefor would not have seen the spots.  So in a way, I have to thank fitness and him for maybe saving my life.

The gyno exam sucked, I can no longer be on the shot due to it rotting bones.  It is a blessing in some ways but I did gain like 70 lbs on it but it took like 15 years to gain that.  So now to find something that won't make me gain and does the same job as the shot.  My worst fear is gaining the weight back again.  I can't afford to do that again as I have worked really hard and am continuing to work it off.  The doc wasn't very helpful as she gave me basically two choices and I don't like either.  1.  get my tubes tied which is extreme because I haven't had any kids but I am still young, just haven't found the right person that I want to bear a child with.  2. the other option is too dangerous and is banned in a lot of places for girls who have never had a kid due to perforation or expelling.  This idea didn't appeal to me at all, especially after researching and reading the negatives.  So I left the doc's office with really bad choices, and then being told to see the dermatologist right away.  Not a good start to the week.